New Beginnings

In the last couple of months, I haven’t photographed much. Many months have passed without me even touching a camera. In an effort to get back into photography, and refind my passion, I started a project right after my 49th birthday last year, called ‘365to50’, which should have been a weekly update, leading up to my 50th birthday. Like I’ve done before with a project called ‘Days of Entropy'. I had to find out the hard way that projects like these work counterproductive for me. They choke the life out of me, so in the end, nothing happens anymore, and I doubt every photo I make, so I don’t photograph any more at all.

So there’s an extensive library of photos that I don’t even want to look at, and it’s all a mess. Probably with some time I’d find some cool stuff in there, but the amount of work waiting for me there has felt daunting to say the least.

The maintenance of my website was another thing that bothered me. I love WordPress, but the endless flow of updates and the plugins telling me exactly what to do also felt like more of a bother than a help. And the cost of paid plugins and my webhosting combined didn't feel good anymore for what I was doing.

So I had to quit. I had to leave photography be and see what would happen. Sometimes think about what photography means to me. And the thing is, I found out that it still means a lot. But the way I saw myself as a photographer just wasn’t realistic! Let’s face it, I’m no photojournalist or street photographer who goes out every day. I have a full-time job and little time to spare. I love photography, I love doing it on occasion, or in extensive bursts of creativity when on the road with friends. Like I used to do when I still did Urban Exploring with my buddy Sven Fennema.

Life got beautiful

So without my camera with me, I discovered that life was still great. I don’t need to be a photographer or have any success in photography or my creativity. I can live without a camera (which I told myself was impossible). Next to all this, or maybe because if this, life happened, in a beautiful way. I met a woman, we moved together, and we got married. All in the course of the last one and a half years. So I focussed on these things instead of photography. Living together, not only with her but also with her kids. Doing family stuff. Going on holidays, or simply going swimming! It took a lot of adjusting after years of being with myself only and living alone, and it still does at times. But I love my life, I can’t say anything else!

Holiday Fails

Good thing is, passion has not completely faded. When we were on Holiday in Tuscany this summer, I took my camera and went out to shoot for a bit. Even if only for half a day. I loved the feeling of being on the road again. And messed up all but one photo on the trip. I’m out of practice, it seems. And I’m up for something new. But at least I got this one shot.

Off to France

So I talked to my good friend Sven about my recent failure. About my insecurities. About selling my equipment even. Sven does not only shoots beautiful stuff with his cameras but also with drones. It’s been inspiring to see what he’s been doing in recent years. The drone photography changed a lot in his style. So I wanted to try that stuff!

Sven, was cool enough to tell me I could try one of his drones. We had to find a cool location and before we knew it, we went off to France. After three years, we were on the road again, even if only for two days. But I felt the passion coming back, and I took some decent shots. I have never realized how much I missed those trips, and how my turning away from Urban Exploration, has also turned me away from the thing I loved most, the Road Trips, the Camaraderie, the conversations in the car, the food, beers and wines in the evening. Damn, how I’ve missed that stuff! Thanks for the trip, my friend. We will continue our journey and will take more trips again.

Above you see some shots I took on that trip. No drone shots yet, but some pretty decent shots of landscapes in a minimalist fashion. I still do love minimalism! The landscape thing is new, and I find it a welcoming addition to the road trips and my photography. If I can keep on doing a mix of Urban Exploring, Landscape and a bit of Cityscapes/Street photography, on occasions, while at times doing it with friends like Sven, the passion can flourish again.

The last one was proof for me that the passion is coming back. I’m starting to shoot behind-the-scenes photos again. I do that when I’m feeling good about myself and photography.

So now it’s time to pick up the pieces and start anew. No more prestigious projects, for now, no more promises of regular posting. Just the occasional going out and shoot, when I have the time, when I feel like it.

I’m rebuilding from scratch, so I’d thought I’d also move my website to a more low-maintenance platform., Squarespace. It saves me a lot of time and hassle of plugin updates, and it saves me some money, too. Which is good, because that money can be used for Road Trips again. This is my first tiny post on here.

P.S.:

I did, however take the time to move all relevant old blog posts here as well. The ones of these day-to-day of week-to-week projects are gone. And some posts from times and especially places I don’t want to promote anymore are gone, too. The photo library and my workflow there are still a bit of a headache, but I’ll get through that, too.